urghh…
i guess no matter how much i try, i wont be able to fit in into nj. whether or not it is the class or the team. maybe i am not trying as hard for the class, but i am sure that for the team, i have been trying really really hard to fit in. maybe it is the impact of mg. somehow there is this bond between the mgsians. somehow mg is easier to fit in. somehow it is easier to talk to fellow mgsians. perhaps it is cause of the bond between us. it is the “invisible badge” close to our hearts. no matter what, mg will still be where i am from. our class will never be like how 2G was, and for ruth, will never be like how 2H (i think) was. there will always be this difference. 2G will always be the bestest class i have been in. with the friends and teachers (yes i am talking about laoshi). even 1G when we were not as bonded as we were when in 2G it still really rawked. with teachers being the centre of gossip. i remember the times when me and nicole would go “MS HO LOVES YOU MORE! NO!!!SHE HATES ME!” and the times when me and yiling would go “NO!!!SHAOWEI IS CUTER THAN MINGDAO!!!” and the “JOSHUA ANG!!!/SHAWN LEE!!!”or vice versa. even now, the issue about whether feilunhai is cute is still going on. it is this kind of things that bond 2G together. 2G has lots of inside jokes which no one else can understand. just like sandra’s “my curves come naturally” and the whole ISYN thing. somehow this would never be possible in where i am now. in this new place, everyone is living in their own world, not wanting to communicate with others. or maybe they do, but somehow i am never part of it. i dont really mind the class leaving me out. after all, i guess i am the one who refuses to participate actively. what i mind is the team leaving me out. being new is NOT an excuse. people like jieqi and lingyi are new too. i am trying to include myself into the team, but the team is not helping. it sucks. but somehow, basketball is the thing that makes me go to school everyday. fine, maybe not entirely. maybe ******** also has a part to play. nj can never replace mg. 05 can never replace 2G. what i need to do is to start accepting it as what it is, but i cant do it. there is no reason why i should. there is really no one i can talk to in 05. it is quite impossible for me to love the class like i love 2G. even if i am irritated at someone, anyone, from 2G, they can tell. they are sensitive. they are not living in their own world. njcians. i am sorry but the world does not revolve around you. get a life. i mean it. life will never be the same in nj as in mg. the change in environment makes a big difference. the introduction of ******** makes a difference too. a big one in fact. i will TRY to make life in nj a better one. but the chances are less than 10%. but i will TRY and jiayou all the way.
oh yeah, does anyone understand why teachers are so kaypoh? teachers starts reading people’s blogs. i quote yiting “teachers should just accept what students present themselves as in school.” like seriously, how we are like in our private life is none of their business, especially if we just got to know each other for a few months. @ the very least, mg teachers started only at the end of the year…but like wth. not even 3 months and nj teachers start checking our blogs?!
Add comment February 26, 2007
